Saturday, July 2, 2011

Another opt-out testamonial

Over at reddit:
This morning, I exercised my right to "opt-out." Here is my story:

Me: "Hi, can I go through the metal detector"

TSA lady: "no, you may not. You have to go through that line."

Me: "Um, no i don't. I don't want to go through that line."

"oh, you're one of "those"." on radio "Yea I have an opt out over here on lane four. Requesting male officer assist."

wait two minutes

Me: "Requesting male officer assist on lane four"

more time goes by, my flight departs in 20 minutes and I get frustrated

Me: "Is this going to take much longer? My flight leaves in 20 minutes. I'll just go through the damn machine"

"No. Once you opt out you must be patted down"

Six Other people go through metal detector with no pat down

Me: "Why don't those people have to get patted down?"

"They're just overflow. They didn't opt out"

Me: "Um... OK...."

Male TSA officer finally shows up

"This the guy?"

"Yea that's him"

"Man, why wouldn't you go through the scanner. It's the easiest thing in the airport"

Me: "Because I didn't want to"

"You know that you get exposed to more radiation in the air than you do going through it, right?"

Me: "I'm sure that's true."

"So why wouldn't you go through it?"

Me: "Because I didn't want to"

"Would you like a private area?"

Me: "Nope, right here is fine"

provides the world's most thorough patdown. The whole time, I've got a slight smile on my face. Several people look on with shock as I'm being felt up. I smile and give them the "Yep, this is really happening. This is the America we're living in" nod

"Now was that really worth it? Next time go through the scanner"

Me: "I don't think I will"

"Why not?"

Me: "Because I value my rights... Especially to privacy and against unwarranted search."

"Privacy? Then you should have avoided the public patdown"

As I pick up my bags to leave "I know I have no right to privacy anymore, but I wanted everyone to see. And..., you guys are like strippers, I like to make you WORK for your money" smile and wink as this guy's jaw drops

Throughout the whole process, the TSA criticized me for exercising my right to opt out. At one point, one actually said "I guess next time you'll Learn to go through the scanner." Their entire process is designed to intimidate people into complying.

Best part about the whole ordeal... I had fluids well over 3oz. in my backpack(obviously not harmful) that no one ever did a thing about.


H/T Mark Fee